After watching the video myself, I couldn’t agree more! The video features an event organised by the Redeemed Christian Church of God, (RCCG) City of David Parish. It shows a group of so-called female pastors sitting on a panel to moderate.
In the video, a woman who has endured physical battery from her jobless husband for years asked a simple question,
“Please I’m into a marriage that…everyday I’m going to work, and my husband doing nothing…out there smoking, drinking…and when you speak, and he’ll stomp…beating…reckless beating unto your head…and what am I going to do about it?”
1. Simple question if my husband smokes, drinks, does not work and beats me daily what should I do? Instead of giving the woman a straightforward answer, the female leader begins to ask what the woman does that provokes her husband to beat her up. She even went on to explain how a woman’s “sharp mouth” should earn her a sound beating from her husband. I’m still flipping the pages of my bible to find out where it is acceptable for a woman to be beaten by her husband for ANY REASON.
2. Any woman who isn’t capable of separating spousal abuse from reality and why she went through that abuse in the first place should never be a leader PERIOD. The speaker said she was once in an abusive marriage to a military man who beat her up because her mouth was ‘sharp’. That is what her ex-husband made her believe and that is the lesson she has passed on. At the end of the day, she and the other women on the panel did not answer the question but ended up confusing the poor woman into remaining in an abusive marriage and believing she is to blame for her jobless husband hitting her.
3. I’m sure I’m not the only one who heard the woman say her husband often dealt hard punches to her head. These blows could be fatal. None of the women seemed to be concerned that this woman may not survive the next beating. None of them suggested a meeting between the couples’ families to help resolve the violence, or ask your pastor to step in? Or call social services? Or relevant authorities that protect women against domestic violence? All Pastor Mrs could tell the poor woman was PRAY???
4. Our system has failed us. Our leaders have failed us. The most painful of all is our church has failed us. Where can Nigerian women find succor from domestic violence, and other forms of spousal abuse? Even Christian women leaders for fear of being branded “not submissive” to male authority have bridged the thin line between submission and foolishness. And this foolish brainwashed theory, taken not from the bible but from doctrines fashioned to further bring untold misery to women…has led many Nigerian women to their early graves. ENOUGH!!!
The video also caused an outrage amongst most women who watched it. Some of their reactions…
“It was the second speaker that stopped me from ‘unliking’ this page. Why would the Church be telling women that it is because they are rude and not good housekeepers that they get beaten instead of admitting that such men have serious character flaws that needs to be brought to the attention of the elders so they can talk to the character before he causes her GBH or worse kill her?
Women are suffering actual bodily harm from men that have serious self esteem and anger issues and it is the woman that is at fault? What about the many men all over the world whose wives do not cook for them, can not keep a clean home but yet are loved and adored by their husbands who only touch them with love and affection……and horror (sarcasm please)….they are not even Christians.
No woman whether Christian or not should think that it is her fault that she is being beaten because some man can not grow up and control his emotions and thinks physically lashing out is a way of showing he is boss. I am just so mad that a Church I held in such esteem will broadcast a session advising vulnerable women that domestic violence is probably their fault for being lippy to their oga…smh. May God help us to meet truly godly men because one who carries the Spirit of God will NEVER raise his hand on his wife, he knows that he will have to answer to God for his actions. Peace. – Adetola“
“Please next time the first woman [speaker] deserves to sit in the congregation and listen ..God forbid this type of woman mentors young girls you will destroy their mindset .. No man born of a woman should raise his hands on a woman no matter what she says or does .. -Boma“
“For the first speaker when your husband was beating you, why didn’t you go to his office to report? They never allow military men to touch their wives, its a serious offence. I have elder ones that married senior officers. If I were the one who got that kind of response from her, I would have asked for the MIC again and given her advice too. Even if God comes down now, I’m very sure he will never ask us to be patient in an abusive marriage and keep praying. – Onedee“
Interestingly, almost every male commenter on the video thread supported the counsel the two speakers gave, proving we still have a long way to go as a nation.
Please women, wake up and let the Holy Spirit open your eyes to the truth. A perfect example of marriage…with all it’s intermittent flaws…could be seen in that of our patriarch and matriarch, Abraham and Sarah. Both of them knew their place and boundaries. Both of them were committed to their roles as man and wife. Sarah submitted to her husband and even called him ‘My lord.’ Abraham loved Sarah and stuck with her even though she could bare him no child. There are two instances I remember where Abraham could have beaten the s**t out of Sarah…going by the RCCG woman’s theory…
- When angels came to tell the couple they would have a son. Sarah sort of laughed scornfully at the prophesy. Yeah, Father Abraham should have given her a good beating. That would teach her to behave next time in the presence of holy visitors. How dare she embarrass Abraham…the father of faith with her faithless laughter?
- The second time would have been when Sarah ‘commanded’ Abraham to send Hagar and her son Ishmael away. How dare she tell me how to run my household? I should beat some sense into this woman!
We saw a humble Sarah give her husband the ultimate respect and sacrifice but not undermining her feelings or what she considered her right. And we also see a godly Abraham loving his wife with patience and understanding…and in most cases through seeking God’s counsel.
Christians, stop being lazy. Read your bibles and wait on God’s counsel. Stop feeding on the limited knowledge of your fellow humans who are also trying to figure out the issues of life like you are.