“There is this neighbour of mine…He’s built, handsome and hot…I like how he looks.
He moved in six months ago. I’m married with a kid. I am a full time housewife, and my husband’s job requires him to travel a lot. Sometimes, we only see thrice in six months. And he doesn’t even stay more than a week on these occasions.
I’ve told him to change jobs, but he loves his job so much. He gets paid well and I don’t lack anything, except for his constant company.
This next-door neighbour of mine is always around. He closes from work 3pm daily. It first started out as a friendship between us. Until I started frequenting his place, and we’ll watch movies into the wee hours of the night. When a movie is erotic scenes, he’ll always want to fast-forward it, but I’ll snatch the remote control from him.
When I do this, our bodies will touch and I’ll feel moved to warm up to his arms. Before we knew it, we started making love every now and then. He is good in bed, and even though I know that what I am doing is wrong, I can’t seem to help myself.
What can I do? I’m beginning to have feelings for my neighbour already, but he doesn’t talk about feelings.
I’ll never fail to point out first that most women get married for all the wrong reasons; just because their friends are all getting married and they do not want to feel left out. The other percentage of women get married without knowing what they are getting into.
I presume AbujaChick’s husband had this same job that requires him to travel a lot before they got married. While she loved the fact that the job paid well enough to keep her going as a full time housewife, she must have failed to take the following into consideration:
For a woman in this situation, being a full time housewife is the most foolish thing to do for the simple reason that the devil finds work for idle minds to do. Imagine if she held down a demanding job or business? So her typical weekday would entail her dropping her baby at a creche or school, depending on his/her age. She comes back home in time to rest a little, spend time with baby, skype, text or talk to hubby before going to bed. Then on weekends, she spends time with her girlfriends or extended family; takes her baby to a recreational park or just drops baby off with grandma to catch some ‘Me Time’ at the spa…or curled up at home reading her favorite book or watching a movie.
What really annoyed me was when she said, “I’ve told him to change jobs…” Who is she to even tell him? I can only condone her statement if:
1. Her husband didn’t have this job before they got married; and
2. If they had both talked about the demands of his job while they were both single and he had promised to adjust his work demands to suit them both after they got married.
It is wrong for a man or woman to think he/she can change their spouse to suit their needs after marriage. It is very unfair to the spouse you want to ‘change’…especially if he/she thinks that you were cool with how they were before you both got married.
How does AbujaChick’s husband cope with sex three times in six months? Or is he ‘cutting shows’ elsewhere? I think he is! No virile man takes a wife to only have sex with her only three times in six months…come on!!! Men take wives (at least in the early stages of marriage) to have unlimited sex with the women they love and to start a family.
So I dare to say this husband thinks he can eat his cake and still have it. Which is, keep his dream job, his dream wife as well as the freedom to carry on with life as a married bachelor. Only snag is, he is getting shortchanged, as Mr. Hot Neighbour is helping him to oil his wife’s wheels while he’s away performing ‘other duties.’
People, this is not the ideal picture of a marriage. This isn’t how God intended marriage to be. A biblical law allowed newly married soldiers to take a leave from fighting for one year to bond with their wives. Marriage isn’t only a contract, it is a bond…a bond of togetherness. It is a relationship which must compliment the strengths and flaws of the couple. Only then, can it work out.
I hope singles consider marriage seriously before getting into it.
Source: Confessions Nigeria