I’m a woman in my late thirties with three children and I live with my husband in Uyo, Akwa Ibom State. I really enjoy really your blog especially your segment on life issues and how you handle each question your readers throw at you. Your response is always so heartfelt that I thought to send you my story.
I always go down on my knees to pray for my family. I pray for my husband to be safe at his place of work, and to always deliver an impressive performance that will impress his bosses. I also pray for his happiness and his good health. For my kids, I always ask God to protect them in school from danger or injury, but I doubt if my husband finds the time to pray for me as well. The reason for my doubt is the way he talks to me sometimes when he returns from work and when we have a quarrel. He is always so quick to throw bitter arrows at me; he tells me I’m a worthless and stupid woman who will never make reasonable money.
I used to sell wrappers and Ankara fabrics. I had to close that business because it didn’t do well. Now, I have a small poultry farm where I rear chicken to sell their meat and eggs. Twice now, a strange disease killed all the birds and I’ve suffered a huge financial loss.
I can’t help but feel some resentment toward my husband because I feel in a way; his curses are responsible for my misfortune. It’s not fair that I pray for him and wish him well when all he does is wish me evil.
Please Deeva, what do I do?
It’s sad that some men do not realize the power of death and life lies in the tongue. The world was created by the spoken word, therefore everything we see that exists on earth, whether it is alive or dead is controlled by the law of the spoken word. Destinies can also be blessed or destroyed by a single spoken word.
When it comes to marriage, the husband is the official head. Therefore, a wise head can prosper his household; likewise a foolish head can destroy his household through the careless words he speaks with his tongue. Our God recognizes authority and has set the laws of nature to recognize same. The reason you see most families suffer because the head of the family failed to exercise godly wisdom.
Does this mean that godly women who marry such husbands are doomed? The answer is no. The bible says that “a wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman plucks it down.” This also means that you can use the power of wisdom to prosper her household whether the husband is wise or not. I shall give you two typical biblical examples.
The bible described Nabal as a fool but said his wife, Abigail had great understanding. When Nabal answered David rashly, Abigail was quick to intervene by appeasing David with gifts and a profuse apology, saving her husband from David who was planning to unleash his wrath by killing every living male in Nabal’s household. King Xerxes of Persia was an impulsive and sometimes irrational ruler, but Queen Esther was able to get a favorable judgment for her people by applying wisdom.
Genesis Chapter 25: Verse 21 says:
“And Isaac intreated the Lord for his wife, because she was barren: and the Lord was intreated of him; and Rebekah his wife conceived.”
This means that there is a special and express blessing that comes on the woman, when her husband prays for her, because like I said earlier, God recognizes the man’s authority as head and will answer if not for anything to establish that authority in the eyes of the woman.
So here is what I propose. Call your husband while he’s at work and ask him if he had a choice to pick any meal he wanted you to cook for him, what will it be? When he tells you, ask him when he it will be convenient for him to eat it. Work with the time he gives you. Present and serve the meal like it was meant for a king. When he has eaten and rested, ask him to lay hands on you and “intreat” the Lord on your behalf for the work of your hands to prosper, that you believe as your head, the authority to change your business fortune lies in him. You have had him where you want him with two instruments of success revealed to women by God: wisdom and submission.
Husbands, who are reading this, please take heed: the woman is a half part of you. If she withers in failure, it means a part of you is rotting away. When Isaac discovered Rebekah was barren (it could also mean any dry area in your wife’s life), he did not go womanizing or marrying a second wife because he must have realized his father’s mistake with Hagar. Isaac did not make fun of his wife or make her wife miserable. He took advantage of his authority as head and spoke life to that barren situation.
Never forget that the power of life and death lies in the tongue.