I have mixed feelings towards the sad story of Nancy Acosta. Frankly, I don’t know how to qualify how I feel because it’s such a complicated cocktail of rage, pity, sadness and some other ingredients I’m too impatient to identify for now.
Any wife, especially the housewife who has a cheating husband or a husband with the tendency to cheat can relate to the pain that led Nancy to her madness and afterwards her death. Only the few lucky women on earth, who are married to the 0.0001% of men who fear God, love their wives and have vowed never to cheat on their spouses may be wondering where am coming from.
And you the men…don’t even get me started on how I arrived at that percentage, because my tongue is so acidic today! This post is not for you.
Hey…woman, yes you! Wake up from that fairytale. Those days, you were his charming bride; his one and only sweetheart whom he had eyes for are over. There is no happily ever after, the reality of marriage is really harsh and that housewife who goes flaunting her expensive wedding ring, her chubby ajebutter kids and her posh ride is not as happy as she makes you want to believe. She is not showing of or doing you ‘pepper eye.’ She has simply chosen to focus on those things which bring her joy and to ignore those things that will jeopardize her sanity. In marriage, happiness is a choice. You must make an effort to design and carve out your own happiness.
Let’s take a look at Nancy from the surface info we got, without seeking to be judgmental. She was a qualified medical doctor and working in her home country of El Salvador. Then she fell in love with Freddy, left her life of dignity behind and relocated to the U.S with him and settled down to being a housewife. We don’t know why Freddy started cheating. The most common reasons cheating men give is that their wives’ became fat and less attractive after child-bearing. The wife is a bore in bed. She always complains of being tired, no energy to ‘give styles’ during sex, compared to the runs girls out there. The wife is always unkempt and too “unpresentable” to be seen in public with, she is no longer respectful, or she lost that “it factor” that first attracted him to her.
Yah…If one of those reasons was Freddy’s, I’m sure he quickly forgot that when Nancy was working as a medical doctor, she earned a big fat salary so she could afford to get her hair and nails did (like the Americans would say), her earning power boosted her confidence and trust me, financial independence does wonders to a woman’s beauty, confidence and carriage. It elevates her mood and her tolerance threshold for bullshit shoots to the roof.
Nancy may have been broke after leaving her job. Freddy didn’t care about providing her a reasonable allowance, giving the excuse he didn’t have any extra. Then in between cooking and cleaning and having baby puke on her dress like most nursing moms do, she might have looked at herself in the mirror one day and found a stranger staring back at her. That respectable doctor who was always neat and all together was gone…forever. She might have taken out her frustration on the innocent kids sometimes when they pestered her with harmless questions. Later on, she may have broken down in tears from being overwhelmed with a situation she was powerless to change.
Meanwhile, Freddy is flexing out there with his newfound love. He’s driving his new bae round town; shopping, going to the movies, laughing and having mind-blowing sex at the end of the day. Gist will come back filtering into Nancy’s ears. She can’t remember the last time she went out and had fun because there was no one to mind her kids. She probably hadn’t had sex in ages because Freddy shows up once in four days only to shower and change his clothes. Nancy’s vagina was growing cobwebs from lack of action. Madness begins to creep in slowly like a thief.
What gives a man the right to flex and a woman to suffer in silence? Is it so that his ego is constantly fed? Or so that the society respects the woman with the title “Mrs,” when in fact she is a dignified slave, bound against her will, forced to freeze out her emotions? Where does the boundary of sanity lie for the long suffering and scorned housewife?
Dear wives of serial cheating husbands, this is for you. Here’s how to get your life back before you end up like Nancy…crazy and dead!… [READ PART TWO]