“I am a Banker in my early 30s and going through a messy divorce. I married my husband as a virgin. I have never been with any man but him until I was raped. I didn’t know anything about orgasm, climax or what have you because I have never experienced it. 8 years of marriage with a miserable sex life.
I have two children from my marriage. It happened that We traveled to my husband village during last Easter period. While in his country home by 1 am in the night our house was raided by armed robbers a gang of 7 members . It was a very terrifying experience, after collecting all the valuables at home, the leader turned to rape me.
The leader tied my husband to a chair, tore my clothes and went on to show me his manhood that he will use it on me. I was frightened. I begged him and cried but he wouldn’t listen. It was a rape that cost me my marriage. As the guy was entering me, I was supposed to feel pains but that wasn’t so. I felt a kind of electrifying sensation that I have never felt in my whole life. I screamed oh my God, as he started pounding on me I didn’t know when I was holding him hard and begging him not to stop to the amazement of others, I was enjoying being raped by a criminal. I was told I was screaming very hard when I wanted to come. Yes I had my first orgasm through rape and since then my life hasn’t been the same. The robber took me two rounds which I came both times. I don’t know what happened, if it was my village people that pursued me, but all I can say is that I haven’t had such with my husband.
My husband gave me the beatings of my life after they robbers left. He called me unprintable names, I am a prostitute, he didn’t know I was an ashawo [prostitute]. He can’t marry an Ashawo. I was hospitalized for two weeks as a result of that incident and his beatings . My husband left me at the hospital and travelled back to our home. I was Damaged.
How could he do such a thing happened to me? What was responsible for me enjoying being raped and even coming as a result of it? How could I even enjoy such act of cruelty on my body? These were the questions I kept asking myself.
When I got discharged I met divorce papers waiting for me to sign. I tried begging my husband, involved my parents but he swore instead of staying with me he will rather die. That I am a disgrace to his life. My husband is a rich guy, so when our divorce news broke out, while I was denying it, he kept telling everyone one that I am a whore.
It took me months to accept my predicament and move on. I am still healing, still seeing my therapist. But one thing I know is that I am not what my husband says I am. I am just a woman who was sexually starved. I did not pray to be raped, but it was the turning point of my life. I just feel like sharing this with you my family because it will help me.
Please don’t judge me, because you don’t know my pains. By January I will be through with the divorce . I just want you all to wish me well with my new life. I pray to find Love in the nearest Future.”
1. What could she have done differently?
2. Was it a crime for her to enjoy rape sex like that?
3. Was the husband being fair to her?
4. Was divorce the only way out?