Losing Friends Who Do Not Stand In Their Truth


FUNERAL-915x610I just buried a friend yesterday, only to log into Facebook this morning and see a fat R.I.P. on another friend’s picture. What is happening???
I met this second friend (I’ll call Jane Doe) in 2011 at a local market in Abuja. We hit it off immediately. We soon discovered we graduated from the same university (University of Calabar). As ‘Malabresses’ (UNICAL female students) we soon bonded as sisters. I noticed she went to church a lot and she’d invite me. It was those kind of churches that they see visions and conducted deliverance. Me, I had a problem then. I was broke, jobless and looking for financial breakthrough so I tagged along. As our friendship waxed stronger, she opened up to me that she and her younger sister were HIV+. They both believed it was a spiritual attack from their father’s jealous brother and were seeking deliverance.friendship-800x481
 Before relocating to Abuja in search of a job, I was working with PLWHAs (People Living With HIV/AIDS) on a USAID funded project in Calabar. I knew her situation was not a death sentence and I explained that to her. She wouldn’t hear of it. She refused to take her ARTs because it would “injure her faith.” I’m not one to judge but these girls were mega fun-loving while in school from the stories they told me. They enjoyed great favours from their gentlemen friends which is not surprising because these girls looked hotter than Beyonce, no kidding. So yea…the HIV was not contracted through Juju.
One day in 2014, she told me she met one pastor who told her, God said she knows “her sin” and to be cleansed from the HIV virus, she was divinely instructed to climb one mountain like that in Abuja, and stay there for 7 days praying and fasting. She wanted me to accompany her to the mountain because she was scared of being there alone.
“God knows her sin”??? Duhhhh!!! God knows all our sins!!! Did Jane sin more than King David who raided and killed for fun and stole people’s wives? God made him die peacefully in his bed at a ripe old age with a virgin beauty keeping him warm. Even with “his sin”, he was known as “a man after God’s heart.” Did she sleep with more men than Solomon who shagged 1000 women? Or did she and her sister do ‘runs’ more than the infamous Matharoo sisters? No her “sins” must have paled in comparison to many left alive on earth today.

Cutting edge technology has invented new and improved Anti-Retroviral drugs that continuously increase your CD4 count until your immunity is so high that what little HIV is left in your system becomes insignificant. I could not rationalize the ridiculousness of this ‘Mount Sinai” mission. How will I bend my mouth to tell my husband that I’m leaving my children alone for 7 days to stay on ‘Mount Sinai’? She went alone, returned and relocated to Lagos. The following year, she called to tell me she was getting married. “Have you revealed your HIV status to your fiance?” I asked her. “Oh, I no longer have HIV. All new tests have cleared me,” she said. Later that year, her younger sister died.
In 2016, she was back to her old flat in Abuja as a single lady. Her mother in-law and husband chased her out, brought in a new wife because she couldn’t bear a child. Back to where she started, she sunk herself more into church work, preaching on Facebook and inviting people to her church. She died last night. May her beautiful soul rest in peace.
My rant is to tell the rest of us still living to STAND IN OUR TRUTH. Standing in your truth as a liar, thief, prostitute, armed robber, scammer, cheating spouse and even a murderer helps you take the first journey on the right path to becoming a better person. No sin is greater than the other and everyone is imperfect as long as we are mortal. So no need to keep up fake appearances. Someone out there might have the solution to your problem if you just open up. Secondly, all wisdom comes from God, including science & technology. If a cure/treatment has been found for cancer, HIV, e.t.c. for heaven’s sake listen to your doctor. Take it!! That scientific breakthrough was permitted by God. Act like you’re educated. Stop saying “It’s not my portion.” I lost another dear friend in 2013 because of this “it’s not my portion” mentality…she wouldn’t even disclose her medical condition to me because it would be a “negative confession.” She died in her sleep from a heart condition.

They die and leave us their loved ones miserable forever. light-tunnelAs for me, I sat myself down and looked inwards. My problem of joblessness will not be solved by prayers alone, but by hard work. Even God says, he blesses the works of our hands. Praying from now till tomorrow without ‘something to bless’ is pointless. I discovered my passion. I pursued it and today I’m doing well.

I’m only doing well because I made up my mind to stand in my truth with boldness and the sound mind that God has given me. In 2018, I have a plan…too gain the whole world and gain my soul. Why? Because God’s word says I can prosper, in spirit soul and body…the complete me.

What is your truth?


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