For the past three days, I’ve totally been missing in action. There were no blog posts. Before then, news was slow, it was a struggle to post stories or I’d just manage to post about two stories in a day.
All those times, what went through my mind was: what were my Pweebers thinking…I’ve so let them down! Some even sent me mails to confirm if it was me not really posting or if something was wrong with their browser. One loyal Pweeber even threatened to decamp to another blog if this inconsistency continued.
I want to explain what was going on in what I’ve titled my ‘Jonah experience’. You see, I’m a darn good writer if I do say so myself. 🙂 When I started this blog, I had mapped out the course I wanted to follow and so I wrote out my vision. Peace Ben Williams Blog started out so well with rave reviews worldwide but over time, things started to crumble because I was suffering from the ‘grass is always greener syndrome’. This is a disease which attacks your mentality and contorts your judgement, so that you do not notice or appreciate your OWN latent talents or potential. Rather, you’re always stretching out your neck to desire what others are doing and desiring to be like them. That was my introduction to disaster.
God told me what was best for me to do. I wanted something different. I wanted my blog to be like other contemporary blogs which thrive on news that leaves people’s lives empty at the end of the day. My angle was to report the same news no doubt, but my most important task was to report it from an angle that was way different from the secular…a unique approach, which I didn’t follow.
Just like the biblical Jonah who thought he knew it all I changed my course. Instead of sailing to my Nineveh, I got on a rocky boat and set sail to Wahala Island. Oh how my storm raged! My two generators packed up. My Internet network quality dropped so low that some days, I wouldn’t get any signal. NEPA (Nigeria’s Power Holding Company) would forget my neighbourhood for days and won’t supply power. The charger of two laptops I used for blogging blew at the same time. I wouldn’t get paid for adverts and jobs I had pitched for. I was broke and frustrated beyond measure!
One day, a loyal reader of this blog called to find out what was going on and sent a cash gift for a stronger Internet connection (God bless her.) I installed it but all other websites would open except my own. From July 12 2014, I battled with technicians to locate and solve the problem but it eluded us. They kept saying they’ve never experienced such a strange glitch before.
I was angry! I cursed, I stomped, I threatened then I just broke down and cried. I even made fists to heaven yelling like a banshee and asking God what more He wanted from me. I hated the message of inconsistency this challenge was putting out there to my readers and I was just angry at God for not crowning an honest woman’s labour with success. In all, I did everything but pray.
Early this morning, my husband held my hands and prayed for me. Then he told me:
“I can assure you that your breakthrough is so near that’s why your feeling this terrible.”
Three hours later, I picked up my bible and my devotional and started to worship. I meditated on God’s word for the day which said:
“Remind me of what happened, let us argue our case together. State your case so that you can prove that you are right.”
-Isaiah chapter 43, verse 26 (Word Version)
Then I broke down because I realised my shortcomings, but I reminded my Father of His promises. I reminded Him that he was a God who is ever faithful to wretched sinners even when we failed to do the right thing. I said I was willing to yield to His wisdom. My heart became so light and I felt peace.
I turned on my system to try one more time if my blog would open. I told myself if it didn’t, I still knew “all things were [definitely] working out for my good.” Lo and behold it opened. That’s why I’m able to post this for you to read.
Isn’t it ironic that Jonah was in the belly of the whale for three days and my blog was also shut down for three days so I could prioritize my vision concerning the purpose for owning this blog? I was in the belly of the fish for 3 days with the storm raging all around me. I was angry at God like I had the right to, but He pointed me to my Nineveh and as soon as my heart yielded he commanded the whale to spit me out.
A bitter-sweet experience like this has indeed increased my wisdom. One lesson I shall take with me on this is what the Lord has consistently been whispering into my ears:
“All things are lawful for me; but not all things are expedient. Everything is permissible, but not everything builds up. “
-1 Corinthians chapter 10, verse 23
And this rule applies to every child of God who has the mark of His redemption.
Love you all,