When I read ignorant comments like this, I sometimes wish God could spray Shelltox on such people so they drop down like mosquitoes and give sensible people more space to breathe. Most men can never understand the half of what most married Nigerian women go through. For me who runs ALL of my business brands online, late hours and early in the mornings are the best times in my home to work. It is quiet. My sanity returns and I can get creative.
I have been a stay-at-home mom for years, then a working class mom at three different organizations, then back to being a stay-at-home mom running a blogging, ghost writing and wellness business online. I can tell you none of those statuses are easy. Being a mom to five children with ages ranging from 6 to 19, I’ve had to cook, clean, assist them with their home works, be present at their PTA meetings, sports engagements, presentations, and any school activity that require a parent’s presence. I still serve my family food, manage family finances and ensure their feeding and upkeep standard remains the same no matter how much hail and storm the Nigerian recession pours on my upkeep allowance. I have to listen to my teenagers rant and whine about life (haha!) and counsel them. I colour with the little ones and watch their cartoons with them. I know all their favourite cartoons, Nickelodeon and Disney characters. I still have to serve hubby’s meals, listen to him rant and whine about his grassroot political opponents and how his productions and shoots are going. In my children’s eyes, I’m such a cool mom (Kids are more appreciative.) In my husband’s eyes, I’m a robot (Husbands think we run on fuel😂). In my head, all I see is SLEEP… my bed..my soft duvet…but I can’t afford that luxury. I MUST WORK to pick up my personal bills.
My day starts when my family’s day ends. I’m scouring the internet to update my blog and business pages. I’m researching on the latest health and fitness news to share on all my FatFightersNg brand platforms, I’m updating this novel I’ve been trying to write since 2009 (no kidding). All social media tabs are active on my computer because I also blog pop culture trends. This means my Messenger LOOKS active. Then you see random guys waving and “helloing” you. When they get no response, you see insults pouring in; “I’m sure you’re chatting with another guy that’s why you’re ignoring me. No energy to vex or cuss back so you ignore and keep working; counting it as a job hazard. By daybreak, it’s back to the same grind of preparing the kids for school and packing up their lunch boxes.
Recently, I was trying to explain to my husband why I fired my househelp. She didn’t feel it was in her job description to lay the beds or do the dishes. She only wanted to sweep and mop the floor, then do the laundry. She said I am “suffering her” if I add those two chores.
My husband: Baby, but you shouldn’t let her leave with that impression.
Me: What impression? I have had a CS on a Thursday, resumed work on a Tuesday because my boss refused to grant me maternity leave. Bent with the pain to bathe my baby and dress her up to take with me to work. Made the beds and did the house chores. Went to the market came back and cooked the meals….all with a healing wound and infant baby. Do you honestly think I would condone such a blatant excuse at laziness?
My husband: (laughs) But Baby, you know you shouldn’t be comparing yourself with another woman like that. You are too strong almost like you’re not human. I doubt if many of these girls who work for you can cope with what you do, so you should use a more reasonable comparison.
I told you my husband thinks I run on fuel😂 and so do many Nigerian husbands whose wives silently scream for a little help at home.
Written By: Peace Ben Williams
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The Ignorance of Some Nigerian Men About the Female Workload ©2018
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