One day she fell sick and he called her over to his place. She had been to the hospital and was injected. She was very weak. Somehow she managed to get there. And there he was, horny. She told him she was sick but he would have none of that. He just had to relieve himself. He pinned her down, and forced his way in. She wasn’t a virgin and of course they had been intimate countless times. But that day she said no and he didn’t listen. He had his way. She couldn’t tell anyone as they would ask if they weren’t lovers, and ask how possible it was for a guy to rape his babe. She kept quiet, and never voiced it. The next day he came apologising, and said he didn’t know she was that sick until after she left and he found the blood stained cotton wool used in massaging the injection spot. The damage had been done.
He was her off and on boyfriend, who would be sweet this time and sour the next. He lived out of town and they only saw once in a while. She loved him but his attitude always put her off. He came to town one weekend and invited her over. She knew he might want to have sex with her but she didn’t want that, so she didn’t bother going. Three days later she saw her menses, and thought it would be a good time to visit him. If they were gonna talk at all, let sex not be in the way.
She got there, and he didn’t want to talk. He wanted to have her badly. She gave the menses excuse and he would have none of it. He knew she had been avoiding him just so he wouldn’t touch it. And menses or not, he would have his way.
The struggle started. He had his cousins around, both male and female. If she screamed they would hear her voice. So she kept it low. He kept wearing condoms and she kept removing them. After the third, he told her point blank that if she dared remove the fourth he would have her without protection, then he had established the fact that she was indeed on her period. He pinched amd pinched her thighs till her legs were wide apart. He tore the panties and flung the stained sanitary pad. He had her. She was there in tears. After the deed he brought out his wallet and mobile phone. In her presence he deleted her number and told her he just wanted to have a last taste. Then he brought out a passport photograph from his wallet, shoved it under her nose and told her that was his new girlfriend, and she was prettier. And she should get the hell out of his house. Shamefully she walked out. The cousins knew what happened cos they heard the struggle. She couldn’t tell anyone. Cos they wouldn’t believe her boyfriend raped her.
They were both out on Friday night. She drank Snap while he drank Trophy. It was a cold night and she needed to go home and cover up. He was being too slow with his drinks so she helped him. She got drunk. Twice on the way home she vomited. They got home and he put her on the bed. She had saliva in her mouth cos of the vomit and she couldn’t say a word. The world was spinning. He undressed her. He didnt think it wise to take her to the bathroom for a cool shower, but rather he undressed and mounted her. She weakly tried pushing him away but he shoved her hands off him. He had his way, even as she said no.
She couldn’t tell. Cos she was high with her boyfriend and when you are high you are horny. She wanted it, as far as people were concerned. Case closed.
Today when she picks her pen to write about them, she coins sweet words. Sweet memories all the way, at least that’s what people will read. The deepest secrets lie within her. Some wounds never heal, we take them to our graves.
– Anne Abidemi Akinnagbe