Warding Off Negative Energy From 40+


My husband Ben and I with our third daughter Katriel celebrating her second birthday – March 5, 2011 in Abuja. (Photo Credit: Williams Family)

You know how you wake up in the morning to check Facebook, all to see a post you made many years back popping up on your timeline as a memory?

The photo above popped up as a Facebook memory. Feeling nostalgic, I showed it to my 18-year-old daughter and she said,

“Awwww…see how fresh you looked here, you were practically glowing!”

I reminded her that I was 6 months pregnant…almost 7 months pregnant at the time and she said,

“Wow…and your nose didn’t expand?”

I chuckled silently within me, because I remember what my so-called best friend said to me when she first saw this photo 7 years ago. I was celebrating the birthdays of two of my children: Caleb who is March 3rd and Katriel who is March 5th. I don’t remember her saying anything nice or positive about the photos. Rather, she asked why I wasn’t wearing makeup and that my face looked a bit off…and too dark; that it didn’t look like me.

I was almost 7 months pregnant with my 5th child. I was in a hot kitchen cooking fried rice, Jollof rice, making salad, frying chicken, cooking Afia Afere, blow-drying my 2-year-old’s kinky hair with all the screaming and crying and also coordinating the other kids to dress properly for the occasion. How EXACTLY was I supposed to look with all that multitasking?

Being a woman in my 40s is such an exhilarating experience. You begin to really UNDERSTAND that the first person to love is YOURSELF period. I also do not hesitate to cut off anything or anyone that troubles my peace.

Anyone who is my friend on Facebook knows I don’t hoard compliments, I make an effort to comment and say something nice on your photo and if I’m too busy, I would like or love your post. I’ve come to realize that it takes a certain grace for one woman to admit that another woman is beautiful or successful and genuinely celebrate another sister’s success. WHY??? When YOU KNOW that for every success that sister has achieved, she may have failed 7 times before finally getting there.

I look back at this photo and I’m mighty proud of myself and what I have achieved. The adversity I’ve faced in life was/is enough to drown me, but I have successfully smashed each adversity to the pits of hell and will keep smashing and still come out looking like a million bucks like I always do.

I will keep seeing only the positive side of people and celebrating their successes, because I appreciate what it took for them to get there.

BUT the day I find out that you have an ugly heart? I will smile and press my DELETE button, because you have no place in the next chapter in the story of my life.

Problem solved. Wrinkle saved.


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