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Who Should Reach Orgasm First, Is It The Man Or Woman? [ A MUST READ]



I stumbled upon this lovely article written by Funmi Akingbade, a sex and sexuality columnist with Saturday PUNCH. She raised some valid points which married couples need to really consider if indeed they want to keep things in the bedroom really hot and spicy.

If you’re a wife, please know that ‘hot n spicy’ shouldn’t be limited to that spice you put in your cooking pot. Learn a few tips here before you complain that Oga-at-the-top is looking outside for sexual fulfilment. And husbands, learn to explore your wives bodies to give her maximum pleasure. Stop doing shook-and-go. Please read…


It’s not news that many men today can start and finish with sex in just a few minutes. While countless married women take longer time to get aroused and become properly prepared (physically and emotionally, it eventually takes ages for them to reach orgasm. But reaching orgasm and ejaculating at the desired time is always a question married men and women want answer to. Who should reach orgasm first, man or woman? Actually, anyone could be the first to climax. But men being what they are on bed, desire to climax with their wives together or admire it when their wives get there first. The feel of watching their wives display is a sexual thrill for them.

There are two things couples should take into consideration: one, husband should know the right moments when to speed his wife up and slow himself down and number two is getting familiar with the trick of prolonging sex. I can assure you that if you follow my advice, you and your wife  will have a happy ending, because you will be able to deliberately delay your ejaculation while your wife will climax fully.

One way to increase a woman’s speed of reaching orgasm is while kissing her, make sure you nibble on her neck a little bit longer. Most often ignored, the woman’s neck is both nerve-packed, highly sensitive and nothing turns up the heat for a woman like the feel of a man’s lips on her body.

You can also fire up the titillation by taking turns to kiss her in different body parts. This usually takes her out of her comfort zone and gets her ready for some passionate expectation. You can experiment with more creative ways of bringing her to the brim of orgasm by rubbing your lips against her nipples, sweep them along her belly button and even gently brush your face against her cheeks, for more intensified arousal.

Drag her tongue into your mouth slowly and then suck gently on the tip. This playful twist on a typical kiss will send currents of electricity between her legs. Most women like an amount of pressure when they are kissed. While you are fully concentrating on this, you will be amazed that your ejaculation speed will slow down because you are fully focused on something else.

To ensure she climaxes before or at the same time with you start stimulating her clitoris as soon as possible. While the attention is more on her, slow yourself down and erotically speed up the clitoral stimulation. No woman has ever resisted this.

To aid caressing and arousal, add a few drops of some natural lubricants on your fingers and use them on the clitoris to the virginal lips down to the inner part of her thighs. Experts report that circular stimulation, starting slow and building up the speed, is most effective.

At this point, encourage her to hold firm the base of your manhood and at the same time apply some degree of pressure on it to help resist premature ejaculation. When handling your manhood, she should maintain a soft touch and keep her strokes closer to the base where you are less sensitive. Also, convince her to vary her moves: you’ll love the shifting sensations so much that you won’t notice you’re skipping the steady friction that makes you ejaculate prematurely.

If you are able to achieve this, go ahead  further and arouse her by inserting your pointer and middle fingers into her vagina with your palm facing the ceiling, and then rest your chin in the palm of your hand. In this position, you can move your fingers in a come-hither motion to massage the front wall of her vagina (G-spot territory!) while teasing her clitoris with your tongue.

Remember the rule of the game is that you have to slow yourself down. To light your fuse without triggering an unexpected explosion, your wife should only kiss and lick your penis, not suck it (otherwise, it feels too similar to being inside her). Showing your testicles a little love will also give you mega pleasure without pushing your ejaculation button.

Now during intercourse, both of you should agree on ‘girl-on-top’ position and this grants her total control of the speed, angle, and depth. This is 100 per cent best for speeding up her orgasm. Instead of moving her hips up and down, which will bring you closer to the brink of ejaculation, she should slide them back and forth so that her clitoris is rubbing against your abdomen. Don’t be shy about getting involved and pushing up hard or increasing the speed. She’ll love the intensity.

Finally, remember long thrusts are the husband’s orgasm’s best friends, so keep them to a minimum.


-Article Written By: Funmi Akingbade via PUNCH

Funmi-Akingbade 2 (130x200)
Funmi Akingbade



About Peace

Peace is a wife and mother who reports and analyses global trends from the perspective of a Deeva; in the hope of invoking a thought process that will lead to a positive change.

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One comment

  1. uhmmmmmm!! nice article. Most probably the best place to practice this is on a romantic vacation somewhere in the Caribbeans. Otherwise by the time you finish all the rudiments I am most definitely sure some one will be late either for work or to get the plenty children ready for school- Heheheheeee

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