I read in a newspaper, about a couple’s dinner organized by a Christian women’s fellowship. It was an event that was put together to create an ambience for marital counselling. There was a choir made up of these wives who rendered special numbers to their husbands.
I could imagine the husbands sitting on the pews, grinning from ear to ear. I bet they felt very proud of their wives who found time from their busy multi-tasking schedules to put together such a noble event.The founder of the fellowship spoke on the topic, Let Not Your Heart Be Troubled. She said that everyone had problems disturbing their hearts ranging from job issues to family needs. She encouraged everyone to hand all their burdens unto to God because God was saying to His people, Let Not Your Heart Be Troubled.
Is it me or is it a fact that in our churches today, the men’s fellowships are almost dormant? You hardly find our men folk coming up with such great ideas of bonding with their wives. It’s almost accepted that it is the exclusive duty of the woman to seek means of inventing and re-inventing activities that would add a spark to their marriage.
The question is: Do our men folk realize that it takes two? Do they realize that women also desire to be given attention and shown affection? When I read that piece of news, I chuckled to myself because I’ve seen and heard so many times how the Christian wife who is always striving for perfection like the virtuous woman mentioned in the bible, always gets kicked in the face by the treacherous actions of her husband.
My friend Alice is an example of a perfect Christian wife. She is a dedicated women’s leader in her church, but nothing she does is ever good enough for her husband Osas who seems to have an insatiable appetite for sex. She married Osas a virgin because she believes in the sanctity of marriage. Unfortunately, her husband thinks otherwise.
How else would you explain his spending every Friday night out of the home claiming that “Friday night is Boys’ Night?” He would come back every Saturday evening drunk as a fish and throw up on the bedroom floor. He once told Alice that she doesn’t have any right to know where he spends his weekends. If she dares to complain, he’ll beat her up.
Osas tells his mistresses that his wife is not good in bed because she has no sexual experience whatsoever. This threw my friend into deep depression; she regretted ever keeping herself chaste for marriage.
Felicia’s husband is a heartless womanizer. One day, he comes home at 2am from his gallivanting and sneaks into the bedroom. He doesn’t know his wife who was pretending to be asleep was watching him closely. Of course he was too drunk to notice. As he quickly undressed, his wife could see the emission on his briefs. She turned around and wept silently for the rest of the night. She wept some more the following morning as she was doing the laundry and had to wash the stained underwear.
Few months later, Felicia underwent surgery to remove a tumour in her stomach. I had to spend the night with her at the hospital because she was scared of being alone. She was in so much pain and needed someone close to stay with her. Her husband never showed up that day.
We later learnt from a friend who came to visit Felicia that her husband was at a night club that same night, dancing his heart away with some girl while she was groaning and writhing in pain at the hospital.
Bola would have loved to pursue a successful career but if she ventures it, she may be doing so at the detriment of her marriage. Her husband Femi can’t seem to keep his hands off her housemaids. He has tried to have his way with every cousin or sister who came to live with her to care for her kids while she went to work.Those who refused to succumb looked for an excuse to leave the house without letting Bola know the real reason they were leaving.
Those who succumbed treated Bola with contempt like the Sarah-Hagar story. A frustrated Bola had to resign from her job and become a stay-at-home mum. Our men folk have dealt with our hearts most severely. Sadly, it is always the good women who mostly receive these evil treatments. It’s as if the devil is out to attack every reason these women need to remain virtuous in their marriages.
If our men spent more time being committed to planning activities in their men’s fellowships, perhaps it would create more bonding time with their wives and keep them from wrecking such havocs in their homes; perhaps it would also save our good Lord a lot of trouble in working on so many troubled hearts.
Article Written By: Peace Ben Williams.
No part of this article should be copied or published without the permission of the author.
It Takes Two Part 1-The Male Culprit ©2014
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